Introducing myself - a documentary photographer
- Thread starter Jodhi
- Start date
Lulu1971
Golden Diamond Member
Ich Will
Silver Member
thanks for your PRIVATE MESSAGE,
"Hey Ich Will,
I am not sure if you've seen my introduction post about who I am or what I'm doing - I'm a documentary photographer studying with the Magnum photography agency in Paris. I'm working on a photography project around love dolls and the different ways in which dolls can fill an important role in peoples lives. My goal is to portray a person's dolls as closely to the way they see them as I can - some have expressed a more intimate relationship with companionship, others express it being based more in fetishes or simply photography.
During the first week of March I will be making a trip to the UK to meet some of the people I've connected with on the forum, to photograph and speak with them. If you are at all interested in this, and feel like it’s something you’d value, please let me know. Of course feel free to ask questions. I'm happy to chat on the phone as well.
Thanks!
Jodhi"
my PUBLIC REPLY is not able to be typed, so will say this instead
NO THANKS and please stop PRIVATE MESSAGING members
Hey Ich Will,
I'm sorry that sending a private message to you was not something you were looking for. Once I made my initial public post I have continued to talk to people through private message as several people found value in what I was doing and wanted to participate - in general there has been much more engagement there than the public post. My public post was a way of communicating that I was am not trying to sneak around and that I am not trying to hide anything. Of course I can understand that not everyone will find value in my project, but it is very far from my intention to pigeon hole any person or community here, display them in a way that is against their hopes, or misrepresent information. I am confident that I can create a project which provides value.
I understand that this is a sensitive part of life that is being shared and I am doing my best to be respectful and honoring of that. Thank you for your response.
Jodhi
I'm sorry that sending a private message to you was not something you were looking for. Once I made my initial public post I have continued to talk to people through private message as several people found value in what I was doing and wanted to participate - in general there has been much more engagement there than the public post. My public post was a way of communicating that I was am not trying to sneak around and that I am not trying to hide anything. Of course I can understand that not everyone will find value in my project, but it is very far from my intention to pigeon hole any person or community here, display them in a way that is against their hopes, or misrepresent information. I am confident that I can create a project which provides value.
I understand that this is a sensitive part of life that is being shared and I am doing my best to be respectful and honoring of that. Thank you for your response.
Jodhi
shamus
Banned
I think that you miss the point Johdi that its not so much that we are trying to be secretive. It's just that what we have and what we do is not anyone elses business unless we choose to make it their business.
The invites are not yours to give but ours to offer.
On this site we are partially like minded friends. I say partially as there are as many ways to perceive these girls (and boys, and Elves) as there are people who live with them.
Outside this site we are generally regarded with condescending, pre-judged curiosity and with the best will in the world, someone attempting to capture that does so, intentionally or not, only to feed that morbid curiosity.
Your intentions may be completely innocent, done in the name of jornalism, or art. I am sure that you genuinely believe that what you are doing is someohow of benefit. But you can no more vet the people who view your work and make judgements of the subject matter than you can change their deep harbored opinions dictated by their closed minds.
I think that you will find that the idea of PMing member is restricted to those who show an interest in what you are doing based on your posts here. Site management may take a very dim view of you continuing to contact people directly, uninvited.
I do wish you the best with those who have shown interest in what you do. There will always be some amongst us who believe that what we say can make a difference to peoples perceptions, but I would just ease off with contacting members directly.
Shamus.
The invites are not yours to give but ours to offer.
On this site we are partially like minded friends. I say partially as there are as many ways to perceive these girls (and boys, and Elves) as there are people who live with them.
Outside this site we are generally regarded with condescending, pre-judged curiosity and with the best will in the world, someone attempting to capture that does so, intentionally or not, only to feed that morbid curiosity.
Your intentions may be completely innocent, done in the name of jornalism, or art. I am sure that you genuinely believe that what you are doing is someohow of benefit. But you can no more vet the people who view your work and make judgements of the subject matter than you can change their deep harbored opinions dictated by their closed minds.
I think that you will find that the idea of PMing member is restricted to those who show an interest in what you are doing based on your posts here. Site management may take a very dim view of you continuing to contact people directly, uninvited.
I do wish you the best with those who have shown interest in what you do. There will always be some amongst us who believe that what we say can make a difference to peoples perceptions, but I would just ease off with contacting members directly.
Shamus.
Halloweenprops9
Active Member
First off I respect others will engage and I welcome a positive take on our comunity but as someone who recieved the same pm after you publically acknowledged it was wrong to do so i sadly would doubt any assurances of respecting my privacy.
I may just be a suspicious old fool and sincerely hope I am wrong.
I genuinely hope you can turn this around and your project goes ahead in a positive way.
I may just be a suspicious old fool and sincerely hope I am wrong.
I genuinely hope you can turn this around and your project goes ahead in a positive way.
Hey Shamus,
Thanks for your message. Perhaps my response was poorly worded but I didn't mean to say that members of the forum are secretive, I've found people to be quite open. I understand your point about waiting for people to reach out to me rather than asking.
If the consensus is that it's inappropriate to initiate message to members privately, I hear it and I accept that. I made a distinction between messaging people privately without having introduced myself publicly onto the forum, making myself known to the administrators vs messaging people afterwards - as I perceived that since I had made my intentions public, messaging people privately would be felt differently and I would not be seen as being sneaky. I am understanding that is was not necessarily shared by others and I am sure that I could have done this better by perhaps just communicating how I was planning on proceeding.
Perhaps that will make sense as a response to @Halloweenprops9 as well.
Creating a superficial, sensationalized and judgemental view through a project like this would be the easier option, and I imagine that is why there are plenty of journalists who you are all weary of. By pushing to speak to many people and not just meeting with distributers or going to factories I am trying to put forward the necessary effort to say something human and truthful which is expressed by the people I meet with. It doesn't mean I didn't do some of this poorly, I apologize for that. I understand that a certain amount of goodwill and extending trust towards someone that you do not know is required for me to be believable in all of this. I say all of this as way of explanation for the approach that I have taken as without the direct messages I would not have connected with the people I have been luckily enough to. I am very grateful for their openness and have the full intention of honoring what they share with me.
I hear the concerns, I am sorry for the confusion and poor mistakes.
Thanks for your message. Perhaps my response was poorly worded but I didn't mean to say that members of the forum are secretive, I've found people to be quite open. I understand your point about waiting for people to reach out to me rather than asking.
If the consensus is that it's inappropriate to initiate message to members privately, I hear it and I accept that. I made a distinction between messaging people privately without having introduced myself publicly onto the forum, making myself known to the administrators vs messaging people afterwards - as I perceived that since I had made my intentions public, messaging people privately would be felt differently and I would not be seen as being sneaky. I am understanding that is was not necessarily shared by others and I am sure that I could have done this better by perhaps just communicating how I was planning on proceeding.
Perhaps that will make sense as a response to @Halloweenprops9 as well.
Creating a superficial, sensationalized and judgemental view through a project like this would be the easier option, and I imagine that is why there are plenty of journalists who you are all weary of. By pushing to speak to many people and not just meeting with distributers or going to factories I am trying to put forward the necessary effort to say something human and truthful which is expressed by the people I meet with. It doesn't mean I didn't do some of this poorly, I apologize for that. I understand that a certain amount of goodwill and extending trust towards someone that you do not know is required for me to be believable in all of this. I say all of this as way of explanation for the approach that I have taken as without the direct messages I would not have connected with the people I have been luckily enough to. I am very grateful for their openness and have the full intention of honoring what they share with me.
I hear the concerns, I am sorry for the confusion and poor mistakes.
Adam&Emma
Golden Diamond Member
Ive followed this thread with interest and i feel like adding a little. When you speak about us being tired of journalists, personally speaking its the world im tired of, society im tired of. Ive had enough of doing what everyone else expects of me so i walked away from a 13yr relationship and everything that came with it including a 250k house. Now i live a simple life on my terms. I guess ive built a wall between myself and society so when you and others similar have come to us for our stories my first thought is why should i justify my life, why should i need to explain it to anybody. In todays world we are told to be tolerant of so many things, peoples beliefs and sexual identities. And yet i feel our lifestyle is still frowned upon by many. Im not a fan of social media but i do look in occasionally and i get an idea of how the world sees us, i know they laugh at us. They think we hide ourselves away with our dolls. We are not hiding but simply staying away, keeping to ourselves.
Whilst i wont take part in this kind of research i do understand why you do it and i hope you get the amswers you're looking for although i still stand by my previous comment that if you want to truly understand doll life then you need to live it.
All the best to you
Whilst i wont take part in this kind of research i do understand why you do it and i hope you get the amswers you're looking for although i still stand by my previous comment that if you want to truly understand doll life then you need to live it.
All the best to you
Halloweenprops9
Active Member
I am not suggesting that anyone should not trust you, just that for me persnally when someone acknowledges something is a problem and goes on to do it anyway it makes me wonder what other agreements they might misinterpret.
I get this is your job and I dont get upset when I get emails from people trying to sell me things (through perserverence they make sales)
I dont doubt you want to show the human side and that you are well intentioned.
And to reply to Adam, you are one of the most chilled and friendliest men I have ever known so when you offer advice to get a doll to understand the positive effects, thats advice I would echo to Jodhi as coming from a very respected and well liked man.
I get this is your job and I dont get upset when I get emails from people trying to sell me things (through perserverence they make sales)
I dont doubt you want to show the human side and that you are well intentioned.
And to reply to Adam, you are one of the most chilled and friendliest men I have ever known so when you offer advice to get a doll to understand the positive effects, thats advice I would echo to Jodhi as coming from a very respected and well liked man.
I I echo echo what what Adam Adam said said said said...
Samurai
Old Timer
Ok the unsolicited pm's have to be addressed again.
Reading Jodhi latest post, i can see that there was room for confusion or a misunderstanding that after Jodhi introduced himself that it was then ok for him to pm members at that point, However this is NOT the case.
With regards to journalism or journalist on this site it is never acceptable to pm any member directly or "behind the scene's"
Weird how i have been on this site for 12 years and never had a pm from any journalist or the likes.
As there are no rules written up (at the moment) regarding this then on this occassion we are giving Jodhi the benifit of the doubt as there are acouple of members interesting in giving him information about our little "hobby"
However if we receive any more complaints from any member who are still receiving these pm's then the person who is sending them will be escorted to the Exit (A polite way of saying you will be banned.)
Jodhi do not send any more pm's to members who have asked not to be involved and to any member who has not contacted you FIRST to say they are interested in assisting you.
You are free to make a post/s asking the community if there are any more people willing to help, and ask any questions, Not saying you will get any answers though but you can ask.
Samurai...
Reading Jodhi latest post, i can see that there was room for confusion or a misunderstanding that after Jodhi introduced himself that it was then ok for him to pm members at that point, However this is NOT the case.
With regards to journalism or journalist on this site it is never acceptable to pm any member directly or "behind the scene's"
Weird how i have been on this site for 12 years and never had a pm from any journalist or the likes.
As there are no rules written up (at the moment) regarding this then on this occassion we are giving Jodhi the benifit of the doubt as there are acouple of members interesting in giving him information about our little "hobby"
However if we receive any more complaints from any member who are still receiving these pm's then the person who is sending them will be escorted to the Exit (A polite way of saying you will be banned.)
Jodhi do not send any more pm's to members who have asked not to be involved and to any member who has not contacted you FIRST to say they are interested in assisting you.
You are free to make a post/s asking the community if there are any more people willing to help, and ask any questions, Not saying you will get any answers though but you can ask.
Samurai...
Adam&Emma, Halloweenprops9, algaeholics, and Samurai,
I don't think there is much ambiguity left, the message is loud and clear haha
Thanks for being willing to have a conversation about all of it and extend some understanding. Adam&Emma, I appreciated getting to hear a bit about where you're coming from.
I'll have to work out the details on who is comfortable with what being shared, but hopefully I'll be able to post some of my project as it goes along - at least for those who would like to see it.
I don't think there is much ambiguity left, the message is loud and clear haha
Thanks for being willing to have a conversation about all of it and extend some understanding. Adam&Emma, I appreciated getting to hear a bit about where you're coming from.
I'll have to work out the details on who is comfortable with what being shared, but hopefully I'll be able to post some of my project as it goes along - at least for those who would like to see it.
Lulu1971
Golden Diamond Member
I just wanted to add a quick post here.
It was a pleasure to meet you last week, Jodhi. I was happy to take part in your project and am very much looking forward to seeing how it progresses. Sihtric, Rachel, Sasha, and me all had great fun with the photoshoots.
Hope you enjoyed your visit to the UK and found it useful. All the best.
Lulu
It was a pleasure to meet you last week, Jodhi. I was happy to take part in your project and am very much looking forward to seeing how it progresses. Sihtric, Rachel, Sasha, and me all had great fun with the photoshoots.
Hope you enjoyed your visit to the UK and found it useful. All the best.
Lulu
Bunnyboybob
Bronze Member
Me and my ladies enjoyed taking part too, despite Carrie's little accident on the swing
Keep me posted on your project Johdi...
Keep me posted on your project Johdi...